Canadian Joke #l
A Canadian is walking down the street with a case of beer under his arm. His friend Doug stops him and asks, "Hey Bob, Whatcha get the case of beer for?"
Canadian Joke #2
An Ontarian wanted to become a Newfie. He went to a neurosurgeon and asked,"Is there anything you can doto make me into a Newfie?"
Canadian Joke #3
Did you hear about the war between Newfoundland and Nova Scotia? The Newfies were lobbing hand grenades, the Nova Scotians were pulling the pins and throwing them back.
Canadian Joke #4
One day an Englishman, an American and a Canadian walked into a pub
together. They proceeded to each buy a pint of Molson Canadian. Just
as they were about to enjoy their beverage, three flies landed in each
of their pints.
Canadian Joke #5
A French guest, staying in an Edmonton hotel phoned room service for
some pepper. "Black pepper or white pepper?" asked the conceirge.
(note from webpage mistress: That one was kinda dumb...)
Canadian Joke #6
On the first day of grade three, Johnnie's teacher asked the students to
count to 50. Many of them did very well, some getting as high as 37.
But Johnnie did extremely well, he made it to 100 with only 3 mistakes.
At home, he told his Dad how well he had done.
Dad told him, "that's because you are from Newfoundland son."
The next day in Language class, the teacher asked the students to recite the alphabet. Some made it to the letter "k" with only one mistake but Johnnie outdid them again. He made it all the way through, missing only the letter "m". That evening he again brought his Dad up to date.
Dad explained to him, "that's because you are from Newfoundland, son."
The next day, after Physical Education class, the boys were all taking a shower. Johnnie noted that, compared to the other boys in his grade, he seemed overly "well-endowed". This confused him. That night, he asked his Dad, "Dad,
they all have little tiny ones, but mine is ten times bigger than theirs. Is that because I'm from Newfoundland?"
"No, son," explained Dad, "that's because you are 18."
~*~
Haha!
Back to my Humour Page
"I got it for my wife, eh." answers Bob.
"Oh!" exclaims Doug, "Good trade!"
"Sure, it's easy," replied the neurosurgeon, "all I have to do is cut out 1/3
of your brain and you'll be a Newfie."
The Ontarian was very pleased, and immediately underwent the operation. However, the surgeon's knife slipped and instead of cutting out 1/3 of the patient's brain he accidentally cut out 2/3 of the patient's brain. He was terribly remorseful, and waited impatiently beside the patient's bed as the patient recovered from the anesthetic. As soon as the patient was
conscious, the neurosurgeon said to him, "I'm terribly sorry, but there
was a ghastly accident. Instead of cutting out 1/3 of your brain I accidentally cut out 2/3 of your brain."
The patient replied "Qu'est-ce que vous avez dit, monsieur?"
The Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust.
The American fished the offending fly out of his beer and continued drinking it as if nothing had happened.
The Canadian picked the fly out of his drink and started shaking it over the pint yelling, "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT YOU BASTARD!!!"
"Toilet pepper," replied the guest.
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