A man, an ostrich, and a cat walk into a bar and array themselves on barstools. The bartender comes over, regarding the trio with some curiosity, and says, "What'll it be?"

The man says, "I'll have a beer" -- then turns to the ostrich and says, "What's yours? "I'll have a beer as well", says the ostrich. The fellow looks at the cat and says, "I suppose you want a drink too?" The cat replies, "I'll have a beer, but I ain't payin'!"

So the barman pulls out three beers and says, "That'll be six dollars and thirty-two cents, please." The man reaches into his pocket, feels around and to the barman's surprise, pulls out exactly the six-thirty two.

A while later, the same thing happens. The trio orders and the man pulls the exact amount out of the same pocket.

The next day, the man, the ostrich, and the cat return to the bar. "I'll have a beer," says the man. "Same for me," says the ostrich. "I'll have one too," says the cat, "but I ain't payin'." In a repeat of the previous day, the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact amount requested by the bartender.

This becomes a regular routine until late one evening the trio enters at near closing time.

"The same?" asks the bartender.

"Well", says the man, "it's close to last call. I'll have a scotch tonight." He turns to the ostrich inquiringly and the bird says, "Me too." The cat chimes in with, "I'll have the same -- but I ain't payin'." The barman rings up the drinks and says , "That'll be twelve dollars and sixty cents." To his amazement, the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket.

As the trio are finishing their drinks, the bartender can't contain his curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir, but before you leave there's something I must know. How do you manage to come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?"

"Well," says the man, "it's a long story but . . . several years ago, I took care of an old lady well into her nineties. When she died, she left me her house, and as I was cleaning out the attic, I found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, this genie appeared and offered me two wishes."

"That's fantastic," says the barkeeper. "What did you wish for?"

"Well," says the man, "I wished that if I ever need to pay for anything, I just put my hand in my pocket and the right money will always be there."

"That's brilliant," says the barman. "Most people would wish for a million bucks or something but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live."

"That's right," says the man. "Whether its a quart of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there."

As he turns to go, the barman calls him back and says, "One last thing, sir... er, your friends there. We don't get many cats or ostriches drinking in here ..?"

The man looks glum. "Yeah," he says, "that was my second wish. I asked for a chick with long legs and a tight pussy."

~*~

Heheh

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