If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter?
If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?
Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon?
What do chickens think we taste like?
What do people in China call their good plates?
What do you call a male ladybug?
What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man?
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
When they first invented the clock, how did they know what time it was to set it to?
Which is the other side of the street?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why don't they call mustaches "mouthbrows"
Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
If you can't drink and drive, why do you need a driver's license to buy
liquor, and why do bars have parking lots?
Why is there an expiration date on SOUR cream? What, will it turn good?
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Isn’t there a shorter word for monosyllabic?
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibitedthere?
Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks onthedoors?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out its nose?
If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to thepan?
If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from aheight,
what would happen?
If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when youturn
on the headlights?
If you have your finger touching the rearview mirror that says --"objects
in mirror are closer than they appear", how can that be possible?
Why is it so hard to remember how to spell MNEMONIC?
If someone invented instant water, what would they mix it with?
Why is it called a TV "set" when you only get one?
If you keep trying to prove Murphy's Law, will something keep goingwrong?
What is another word for "thesaurus"?
Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
Why is it when two planes almost hit each other it is called a "nearmiss"?
Shouldn't it be called a "near hit"?
When they ship styrofoam, what do they pack it in?
If 75% of all accidents happen within 5 miles of home, why not move 10
miles away?
Why doesn't "onomatopoeia" sound like what it is?
Why do 'tug'boats push their barges?
Why do we sing 'Take me out to the ball game', when we are already there?
Why are they called 'stands' when they're made for sitting?
Why is there only ONE Monopolies Commission?
Why does one get in trouble for WRECKless driving?
Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?
How can someone "draw a blank"?
Why is the word "abbreviate" so long?
Why does your nose run and your feet smell?
Why does an alarm clock "go off" when it begins ringing?
If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?
Why does "cleave" mean both split apart and stick together?
Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same?
Why is it called a "building" when it is already built?
Why do they call them "apartments" when they are all stuck together?
You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the
package says, "Open somewhere else"?
Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards?
Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called ashipment,
but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why
can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turndown
the volume on the radio?
What does Geronimo say when he jumps out of a plane?
Do fish get cramps after they eat?
Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Why is it called rush hour when everything moves so slow?
How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
Does 'virgin wool' come from sheep the shepherd hasn't caught yet?
If the front of your car says 'DODGE', do you really need a horn?
What do sheep count when they can't get to sleep?
Do blind eskimoes heave seeing-eye sled dogs?
Do they have reserved parking for non-handicap people at the Special Olympics?
How come wrong numbers are never busy?
Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?
Why call it "take" a dump, when you leave something behind?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
Why call then hot water heaters if the water is already hot?
If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex in the box?
How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
If you mixed vodka with orange juice and milk of magnesia, would you geta
Phillips's Screwdriver?
Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
Why do women wear evening gowns to nightclubs? Shouldn't they bewearing
night gowns?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two
cents in, what happens to the other penny?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread tobeginwith.
When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say?
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who
drives a race car not called a racist?
Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?
Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?
"I am " is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could
it be that "I do " is the longest sentence?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that
electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models
deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars inthe
universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wetpaint
you will have to touch it to be sure?
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he
become disoriented?
If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from Holland
called "Holes?"
~*~
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